Everybody scream.

Halloween is in two weeks.  But I’m basically starting to celebrate it now.

In my mind Halloween is the beginning of the holiday season. Like, when I was little (hell, probably until I was 15) I thought when people’d say “This holiday season…”  they were talking about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.  But it turns out it’s just a politically correct way to to say Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, what ever.  I still like my definition better. Call me incorrect.

But Halloween also begins this merciless battle inside me to top the year before.  For instance, Halloween last year was arguably the greatest day of my young adulthood, let alone of just my previous Halloweens.  So this year, how am I trying to top it?  I’m going to San Francisco, and I’m hoping by that fact alone I won’t spend the whole day wishing it were the year before.

But it’s not just Halloween I have to top.  No! It’s the whole “holiday season”.  I already know this Thanksgiving is going to be different than the past 10, not for bad reasons, but sometimes tradition really bites you in the ass, right?  As soon as you come to count on it, it burns you.   Christmas should be better (fingers crossed) since my mother won’t be a menopausal graduate student this year.  And who are we kidding?  Moms MAKE Christmas.  Maybe not the spiritual aspect or side of it that I’ve come to embrace and celebrate more and more each year on my own, but  d e f i n i t e l y the Hallmark-y, warm and fuzzy, cinnamon rolls with cocoa Christmas we all long for.  If your mom ain’t on her game, there’s no hope. Trust me. Been there, done that.

And finally New Year’s Eve.  Who doesn’t want to annually top the year before?  If you’re reading this and thinking, “Not me,” you my friend are lying to yourself.  For the past 4 or 5 years I’ve clung tightly to the saying, “The way you spend your New Year is the way you’ll spend your year.”  Why did I choose to endorse this philosophy? Because all of those New Year’s Eves rocked.  But what happens when you spend a New Year’s Eve choking back sobs, and self medicating a splitting headache while you shiver on a stranger’s porch step?  I will tell you.  You ditch that old philosophy like it’s on fire.  Needless to say, I’m pretty sure no matter what I do this December 31st, it will hella sure top the one before.

I don’t remember the point of this ramble anymore. Make up your own. I’m tired.

Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Now that I think of it, that saying might not have been too far off.